My husband and I have five grandkids, and we’ve established a tradition: For each grandchild’s wedding, we give a small registry gift and, the day before the wedding, a check for $40,000. Our youngest granddaughter, Eloise, got married last October. We sent her an air fryer, the cheapest item on her registry, planning to give her the check later.

Eloise called us, furious about the air fryer. She accused us of being cheap and not caring about her, which caught us off guard. We intended to explain the check we give each grandchild, but she hung up before I could finish. We were shocked by her disrespect and decided not to give her the check.

When Eloise found out from her siblings about the cash gift tradition, she was livid and accused us of discrimination. Despite her anger, we stood firm in our decision, explaining that it wasn’t about the air fryer—it was about her disrespectful reaction and harsh words.

Eloise’s response was to boycott Christmas and threaten to cut us off. Her mother, our daughter-in-law, sided with her, calling us unreasonable. Although this situation has strained our relationship, my husband and I feel that respect and love within our family are essential. We hope that this will be a learning opportunity for Eloise, encouraging her to reflect on her behavior. Despite the turmoil, we remain open to reconciliation when she’s ready to mend fences.