For years, my mother-in-law, Ellen, made me feel like an outsider. She treated me like a temporary fixture in Peter’s life, excluding me from family photos and subtly undermining me. Last Christmas, despite being married just a week before, Ellen told me I wasn’t “family enough” for the Christmas photo. Her behavior hurt, but I bit my tongue.

This year, I had a plan. A few weeks before Christmas, I sent out holiday cards featuring a photo of Peter, me, and his family—everyone except Ellen. I didn’t feel guilty; if she didn’t think I was family, then perhaps she wasn’t family enough.

Her reaction was explosive. She stormed into my house, furious, waving the card at me. She accused me of being petty and cruel, but I calmly reminded her of how she treated me last year. The argument escalated until Peter and his father, Frank, intervened. Peter stood up for me, saying, “She’s my wife. How many times do you need to hear it?”

Ellen was left speechless, but I made it clear: I wanted respect. In the weeks that followed, Ellen’s attitude softened. By Christmas Eve, she surprised everyone by insisting that we all be in the family photo together.

Though it wasn’t perfect, Ellen’s effort marked a small, but important change. It was a start.