My mother-in-law spread rumors and private information about me, so I planned several acts of revenge to shut her up for good.

My husband Peter and I were struggling in our marriage, and his private conversation with his father was shared with my mother-in-law, who then gossiped about us. She spread lies about me at her church, claiming I neglected my children and flirted with married men. Furious, I decided to go no contact and blocked her on all fronts. However, our annual family vacation meant I had to see her again.

Determined to get back at her, I planned several pranks. First, I bought extra-large granny panties and a Snickers bar, melted the chocolate, and left the items near her camper. Next, I scattered small plastic penises around her campsite and sprayed her favorite chair with fart spray. I also signed her up for frequent visits from Jehovah’s Witnesses and printed Bible verses condemning gossip for them to read to her.

During family gatherings, I discussed these verses loudly enough for her to hear. Lastly, I subscribed her to a lesbian newsletter, delivered to her neighbor’s address in her name.

Despite my husband’s passivity, I confronted my mother-in-law with sugary sweetness and shared less-than-flattering stories about her own mother-in-law. By the end of the trip, she learned not to mess with me. Whether she changes her ways or not, she won’t forget this vacation or my capability to stand up for myself.