Navigating the journey of parenthood proves to be a demanding task for every new couple. Many look forward to the assistance of their families in easing the responsibilities of caring for the baby. Yet, the challenge arises when even grandparents, despite their children’s appeals, are hesitant to embrace the role of the designated babysitter.
My husband and I are first-time parents to an 8-month-old son, Jack. I’ve struggled since he was born. I had a difficult pregnancy – my son had colic, and my
maternity leave was short. Both my husband and I have demanding jobs. I’d love to quit, but we can’t afford it right now. I don’t have many friends in the state where we live, and I feel lonely. My mother-in-law is in poor health, so my husband is gone twice a week to help her. I haven’t had a day or evening off since Jack was born. Plus, our home was flooded by a broken pipe five months ago. Handling the
cleanup has been a nightmare. My mom lives one hour away and has
never once offered to help with anything. We’ve always had a pretty good relationship. She was a stay-at-home mom and was very loving and devoted to my brother, sister, and me. She’s now an empty nester and spends her days doing yoga
and seeing friends.
My mom only wants to see the baby if it’s very low effort. lasked her a few times if she could babysit or run an errand, but she always says no. Once I called her at the height of one of my postpartum depression episodes, saying I was scared
to be alone and asking her to come over. But she had brunch plans. I stopped asking
for anything until today. My best friend is getting married next weekend in a state which is 2 hours away by plane. I’m the maid of honor and my husband is officiating. Children are not invited because the venue is unsafe. About seven months ago, we started looking for someone to watch Jack. We called everyone we could think of. After a month of searching, we finally found a babysitter living in the same city where my friend’s
getting married. Well, the babysitter called on Friday and canceled. I’ve spent the past three days calling childcare agencies with zero luck. I finally explained my desperation to my mom and asked her if she could watch Jack for 24 hours. I also offered to fly my mom with us, get her a hotel room, and she’d then only need to watch him for five hours. was in tears begging her, but my mom said no. She has a yoga class that
she doesn’t want to cancel. It was the last straw after months of no empathy as I dealt with postpartum depression. I told my mom that, since she is never willing to help, I will be cutting off all contact and she won’t get to see her grandson. I know my mom is under no obligation to help us, but then she should not expect to see my son. Am I a terrible person for denying my mom a relationship with her grandson because she never
offers to help?
