A man shared on Reddit the heartbreaking decision to break a deathbed promise to his late wife, who had battled cancer. When he married her, she already had a young daughter with Down syndrome, who was never expected to live independently or control her emotional impulses. He became her stepfather at age five and feared the day she might become violent — a fear that eventually came true.

As she grew older, his stepdaughter began punching, kicking, throwing objects, and scratching. Friends stopped visiting, saying they felt unsafe. Even professional caregivers struggled with her behavior. The man was hospitalized several times after she tried to choke him in his sleep or hit him. Only his wife could calm her down.

When his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer, her greatest fear was for her daughter’s future. On her deathbed, she made him promise never to place her in a state care facility. He agreed, unable to refuse in her final moments. But two months after her death, his stepdaughter’s behavior remained unchanged. She could not fully grasp her mother’s passing and blamed him for it.

The man admitted he was struggling emotionally and financially. Without the resources for full-time care, and despite inheriting what his wife left him, he realized he could not provide the safe, stable environment his stepdaughter needed. With no better option, he chose to place her in a state facility.

His family accused him of being an “evil stepdad,” but online commenters reassured him he was making the most compassionate choice under the circumstances. Many noted that his wife’s expectations had been unrealistic.

The man expressed deep sadness over breaking his promise but believed it was the only way to ensure his stepdaughter’s long-term safety and care.