When my neighbor Shannon moved in and began hosting sunbathing sessions in front of my teenage son Jake’s window, I thought it was just a quirky phase. But when I politely asked her to relocate, she retaliated by placing a filthy toilet on my lawn with a sign: “FLUSH YOUR OPINION HERE!”
After a week of Shannon’s daily “performances,” I decided to confront her. “Shannon, could you maybe move your lounger? It’s right in front of my son’s window.”
She laughed, insisting I should invest in better blinds or therapy. Frustrated, I retreated, realizing I was dealing with a very self-absorbed neighbor.
Then, the chaos escalated. Shannon turned her yard into a one-woman festival, complete with karaoke at 3 a.m. and a meditation drum circle. I just smiled and waved, knowing karma was brewing.
One day, fire trucks arrived due to Shannon’s false report about a sewage leak. The firefighter called it a “dry lawn ornament.” Her face fell, but she didn’t stop there. Next, I caught her sunbathing on her garage roof. However, a malfunctioning sprinkler sent her crashing into her petunias, covered in mud.
After that spectacle, Shannon became quiet, erected a privacy fence, and the sunbathing ceased. Jake cautiously raised his blinds the next morning, asking, “Is it safe to come out?” I smiled, serving pancakes. “Yeah, the show’s been canceled. Permanently.” Jake chuckled, “Though I kind of miss the toilet.”
