One day, I came home to find sticky notes all over my laptop. My husband, Lance, left me messages telling me to watch a three-hour basketball documentary so we could bond over his hobby. He even prepared a 100-question quiz!

Annoyed but determined, I decided to beat him at his own game. I spent weeks learning everything about basketball, fishing, cars, and video games. I even started talking sports with my colleague, Dan, who invited me to a live game. I told Lance I was going, and though he smirked, thinking I was bluffing, I went.

When I came home, there he was—two yoga mats set up, awkwardly holding a yoga book. “Want to do yoga together?” he asked sheepishly. I couldn’t help but laugh. Lance realized he’d been too pushy with his hobbies, and for the first time, he was ready to try mine.

Since then, he’s stopped forcing me to bond over his interests. And while the trip with Dan never happened again, it worked to show Lance that our time together should be balanced.